Susan filed a motion to set aside a previously executed MSA (marital settlement agreement) because her background facts constituted grounds for good cause. By definition this meant she had to file in court and have the case heard by a judge; one is not going to be able to settle privately in this circumstance. And even though her set of facts constituted good cause, the courts are always reluctant to set aside previously signed and sealed agreements. The last time I wrote about Susan (Trial Strategy: Use Your Emotions, Don’t Succumb To Your Emotions) I focused on the issue of using one’s emotions in a legal setting in a directed way; emotionally react to the other side’s legal maneuvering in private and than search for the reason behind the strategy and employ your own strategy in light of those facts. In Susan’s case, after motions were filed but before they were decided, the case went before the court as a settlement conference where the entire matter was settled. It was a positive outcome for Susan.

Lesson: Don’t be afraid to use the courts if necessary, just do so wisely. This case is an example of a situation where litigating in court was the only option. Many of you who follow my comments know I feel strongly about staying out of court if possible, but in some instances one has no choice. To set aside previously executed agreements is rarely successful and requires the intervention of the court.

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A judge made a ruling in a case involving back child support payments due from husband for over age 18 children, payments that had been previously negotiated in exchange for other property rights. See Child Support/Benefits Of Private Agreements Outside Court System. Ultimately, the judge gave husband additional let offs as per his request, contrary to the terms of the original agreement. The conclusion here is sad; because husband’s let offs were really not fair in the sense that wife had relied upon the original agreement, she walked away feeling cheated. And because the let off’s involved support for children who were adults, the children knew father was reducing their support (and even though his income/financial positioning was better than ever). Relations between father and family are more strained than ever. Father saved some money but was even further estranged from family

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Pamela has been divorced for some time, but continues to receive child support payments. These child support payments were negotiated, additional support beyond any legal obligation under statutory requirements. Pamela forfeited community property interests at time of divorce in exchange for increased child support. It should be a plan that works; it’s based on written agreements and obligations. However, this is her 2nd time back in court to enforce payment. Husband has a difficult relationship with the children, and when he gets really stuck, doesn’t know how to move himself out of the mess that he has completely and entirely created with his children. He panics and refuses to pay the agreed upon child support, his only leverage. Wife is now forced to go back to court to enforce judgment. Even though a court order from the original settlement dictates the terms, the court continues to accommodate husband. It is probably personal for this judge at this juncture; there is some intangible that results in the court continuing to accede to something the husband requests. Given this judge’s predisposition, a private settlement might benefit even if wife has to give up a small amount of entitled support.

Caveat: be cautious of the court system, especially if there is substantial money involved, and pursue private settlement. However, the professionals you employ and the method you choose in a private settlement is critical, it determines outcome.

For more information on this subject, see Calculating Child Support in California.

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If divorce is inevitable, you will unquestionably face change. Life coaches and professionals exist who can help ensure that the impact of these changes is positive. I will help you find an appropriate life coach or other specialist to guide you through this transition.

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Your goal is to preserve your assets pre- and post- divorce. Determining whether you need a financial planner, an investment advisor or an accountant can be a daunting task, and finding the appropriate professional can be even more difficult. I can guide you through this maze and help you select from the best experts in the business to guarantee your assets are protected.

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As a former litigator, I understand that this decision can be agonizing. For a non-lawyer without guidance, it can feel almost impossible to sort out. This decision can ultimately determine the outcome of your divorce. I can help you make this decision, refer you to the best qualified professional for your needs and save you money by preparing you for the process.

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San Francisco and Marin County Divorce Consultant:

My name is Peggy Brammer, and I am here for you if you’re going through or contemplating a divorce. I have been a practicing attorney for over 20 years. I was divorced in 2004 and that personal experience highlighted the absolute need in our community for a professional who can provide strategic and practical consulting to people transitioning through a divorce. The process of divorce can be painful, expensive, and life altering. Yet there is a ‘right and wrong’ way to proceed. The right strategy positively affects: 1) the outcome, 2) how much money one spends, 3) how quickly one gets through it, and 4) how much heartache is suffered.

As a divorce consultant I am not a divorce lawyer. Instead, I provide the roadmap that allows my clients to navigate through the complexities of their divorce with my guidance, support, and experience. I explore the practical implications of the legal, financial, and emotional issues. I simplify and demystify the legal issues. I prepare my clients for each visit with their divorce attorney and/or financial advisor; and they show up empowered with knowledge, precise questions with a clear idea of the potential answers, durable solutions, and a request for a specific and reasonable game plan for the future. As a consultant, I refer my clients to the successful attorneys, financial advisors, therapists, and career coaches I have worked with and know. Each client’s unique circumstance dictates that one attorney over another is appropriate and my referrals save my clients countless hours of investigation, money, and doubt. My skills and vision streamline the divorce process and my client’s attorney’s fees and overall divorce costs are dramatically reduced.

My goal is to support each client in achieving a result that is favorable and fair and the product of a settlement process that does not involve litigation. My role typically is an adjunct to the divorce attorney, and as such I work with clients in mediation, litigation, and collaborative divorce. The nature of divorce is that it is usually not collegial and one needs an advocate. I believe in the advocacy of attorneys in the divorce process. Each party’s voice has to stay strong in the process; it is when the equilibrium of power is skewed that feelings of desperation seep in on one side or the other.

However, honestly, often the divorce attorney is an obstacle. My services always balance that adversarial trap that can stall or halt the process. One client mistakenly allowed the courts to become the arbiter of her children’s custody when she and her husband were best suited and capable of deciding this issue, even though they were divorcing and experiencing conflict. The attorneys seemed entrenched in their respective battles and I helped my client regain, along with her ex-spouse, the decision making power related to (her/their) children’s physical custody and save tens of thousands of dollars and unbearable grief. I helped another client explore and find a creative way to divide his community property assets, a task the professionals on both sides either never investigated or gave up on. My approach is holistic and designed to protectively and wisely guide my clients to a just outcome in the shortest amount of time and with a substantial savings of money.

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